Great! You’ve done the unthinkable, the impossible! What is it? You’ve become sexually confident and finally figured out who you are with your sexuality. But what does it mean to be sexually confident and why is it important? A recent Huffington Post article from Pamela Madsen titled The 14 Characteristics Of A Sexually Confident Woman does a great job at pointing to certain symptoms that define sexual confidence in a woman. It includes simple signs including: women who seek information about sex, know their sexual anatomy, enjoy self-pleasure, and don’t judge casual sex.

That’s great! But…. How do you get to that point? If you were like me and you grew up in a conservative environment that didn’t educate or promote the exploration of your sexuality, then you know that the struggle is real! Breaking free of the psychological bonds and beliefs that we (and society) place on ourselves is not an easy task. Sexual confidence for women is important for many reasons:

1) We look past the negative thoughts about our body – “I’m too fat, I don’t have boobs, I’m ugly, etc” and we find how it can change the way we see and feel about ourselves. Finding pleasure in our bodies develops a greater self confidence in who we are. For women who have seen their bodies change with the grace of time, becoming sexually confident is more important than ever because it helps you and your body reconnect.

2) We develop healthy eating habits - Women with eating disorders are taught to hate their bodies and feel like they are never good enough. Sexual confidence promotes a body that is confident in how it looks naturally.

3) We constantly want to experiment and find new ways to arouse ourselves – We all know what happens after 20 years of marriage… the sex becomes nonexistent. Life gets busy with kids, work, school, the routine, and it becomes hard to focus on sex. Becoming sexually confident means you put sex first, which means putting YOUR needs and desires first. It’s ok to be selfish, ladies.

Now that we understand the reasons for wanting to build our sexual confidence, how do we go about doing this? 

For starters, you must be in the mindset that you are ready to have better sex. If you are a husband seeking answers to help your wife be more comfortable in the bedroom, it’s not as simple as pushing a “That Was Easy” button. You can certainly help by giving her positive affirmation “You look damn sexy” or “I love the way you just did that”, but she’ll have to do some soul searching as well.

Here are some baby steps to uncovering an improved sexual You:

1.Read Fifty Shades of Grey… or a romance novel of your choice

Reading a sultry romance novel can revive sexual feelings because…. drum roll please…. it’s all about sex! Ok I know, that was too obvious. However, one of the ways that romance novels can help with sexual confidence is how they focus on foreplay. Women naturally love foreplay because it naturally takes women longer to become aroused than men. Romance novels build on every detail from describing the hot sultry kiss, to how he caressed her, to WHERE he caressed her, and more. Romance novels develop a sexual tension that ignites a woman’s arousal and gives her some terrific tips for turning her fantasies into reality. It’s scientifically proven that romance novels release dopamine in our brains which is the same chemical that makes you feel head-over-heels. If you’re like me and don’t have time to physically read a book then try an audio book. I personally love Audible. With thousands of romance novels to choose from, you can’t go wrong. Plus they have a free 30 day trial for new users.

2.Buy Sexy Clothes

If it’s been a while since you walked into the lingerie section of the department store, it’s time to sharpen those credit cards and get your big girl shoes on! Women have many options when it comes to lingerie: price, quality, material, style, and size. Throw away your negative beliefs about your body and shop for sexy lingerie at your favorite sexy lingerie shop. When choosing lingerie, don’t choose just any lingerie. Shop from a variety of styles that suit your body type and comfort. Despite your body type, the following lingerie styles are designed to be sexually appealing for their seductive styles and accents:

  • Bodystockings – This simple piece of nylon is a blessing in disguise! Made in many styles: dress, fishnet, crotchless, cupless, long-sleeved, full body, and more. We love body stockings for their low price options and versatility. For the largest selection of Sexy Bodystocking Lingerie, check out this Sexy Lingerie Shop’s body stocking and fishnet styles.
  • Panties – Clear our your panty drawer, it’s time to make way for your next favorite style of panty lingerie. Try a pair of sexy open crotch crotchless panties to build your sexual appetite. Even if you don’t act on the sexual convenience with your partner, wearing crotchless panties will enhance the eroticism in your mind as it brings attention to your exposed parts. If you’re shopping for open crotch panties for the first time, find a sexy lingerie shop that offers a large selection at low cost. There are plenty of sexy lingerie store that offer quality product at low cost, offering you the opportunity to try a pair without breaking the bank.
  • Open Cup – Bring attention to those beautiful breasts when you wear a sexy open cup cupless piece of lingerie. Similar to open crotch panties, open cup lingerie helps with building sexual confidence by building a sense of eroticism around your breasts. Having very little functionality, open cup lingerie is perfect for sexually discovering your body. Try an open cup shelf bra or open cup babydoll. There are plenty of options to choose from in this sexy lingerie shop.
  • Dresses – Who said that you have to experiment with your sexuality in the bedroom? Wearing sultry clothes in public is equally as important as wearing sensual clothes in private. Explore and showcase your self-confidence by wearing a sexy number. You will find that dressing sexy in public increases your sexual confidence because you’re proud of who you are. People will notice your confidence too and be drawn to what you have. With many dress options to choose from, wear a dress or sexy outfit that meets your inner desires. If you want to be daring, try a sultry cowl neck dress from this sexy lingerie shop that features both assets very well.

3. Experiment

Begin to identify what you like and what you don’t like. If you don’t know where to start, do some research on Amazon and buy a vibrator. Or, even less expensive, buy a mirror and spend some time arousing and playing with yourself. Don’t be afraid to act on those deep thoughts, fantasies, and desires that continue to play in your mind. If those desires make you feel happy and confident, act on them. Once you’ve figured out what you like, experiment with your partner and try out some of your new moves. Guaranteed, he will love your new confidence and help you along your way to discovery.

Sexual confidence has little to do with actual sex, and more to do with power. Being sexually confident doesn’t mean you’re “easy”. It means you have confidence and control in who you are. Don’t fall into the misunderstood belief that sexual confidence means you are sacrificing your self-importance. Sexual confidence is telling the world that you’ve got it, and you’ll decide when they can have it.

Love yourself, find your inner animal, and act like a queen.